U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
