And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
