He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
