dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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