So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
God I need to hump something, right now.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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