Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
