I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize