Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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