so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
