omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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