Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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