I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize