You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
