You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
