The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
