I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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