Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
