Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
