I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
