i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
