Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
