Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
