i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
