I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
