and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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