Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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