My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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