I understand Curling. That high.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
