You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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