Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
