brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
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