I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
