Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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