I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize