wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
