Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
