Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
