Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You smell like stripper and shame
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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