Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
