...so i touched it.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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