Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
i need some magic done to my vagina
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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