whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I love having hate sex.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
