is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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