I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
