My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
