Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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