I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize