Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
