checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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