This is not my ceiling
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
