I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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