his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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