I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
