i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
