how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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