I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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