PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
