yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I think weed is turning my hair brown
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Randomize
