Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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