In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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