That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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