just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
