9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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